Case 2
You were a
student teacher at a local high school 5 years ago. During this time, Cara went
to the same high school although she was never one of your students. Tonight,
you are dancing at a local club and Cara asks you to dance. Cara is now 23 and
you are less than 5 years older than she is. You and Cara really hit it off and
you think you could have a meaningful relationship with her.
I
wanted to challenge myself so I decided respond to this case study. The
following assumption is made while I answered the question: I assumed that in
this scenario, the teacher never had a professional relationship with the
student Cara and they never had a personal relationship together until the day they
met at the club. My response follows:
Since
Cara was never my student and she has now graduated from high school and is 23,
the scenario of having a meaningful relationship with her is most likely not
illegal. However, the situation might lead to some ethical questioning that might
place my respect/authority as a professional teacher in jeopardy. This can be
due to others’ possible misunderstanding about my relationship with Cara. Therefore,
before I think about contacting Cara again, I would first record the situation
in writing and report it to my supervisor at school. Then I would schedule a
conference with my supervisor and obtain input/advice from my supervisor. I
would only think about proceeding with having a romantic relationship with Cara
if I obtain approval and support from my supervisor. I understand that if Cara
and I decide to have a romantic relationship together, I will have to explain the
situation to possibly my students, their parents, and my colleagues. If I do
not obtain support and approval from my supervisor, my only option is to tell
Cara that because I love and value my job as an educator, I can’t have a
relationship with her.
Xiao, I believe that is exactly what I would do as well. It is important that we always have the support and understanding of our superiors (such as a principal). They can offer not only advise on how to proceed, but if the relationship is deemed appropriate they can help us alleviate any misconceptions that may exist in the school about the relationship.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest concern with this whole scenario is whether or not the current relationship will cause some to suspect that Cara and I had an inappropriate relationship when she was at the school, as a student. That would be my only concern following this course.
Matt,
DeleteI thought about that too and that's such an important concern for teachers! Teachers are supposed to be perfect ethical models in people's minds. Then I thought, I would be modeling for my students the strength in character to not worry about what other people's wrong thoughts (they most likely know nothing or very little about my relationship with Cara to begin with).
Xiao I'm so glad you decided to answer this question. I thought about it but it was quite difficult finding the wording necessary to articulate how I felt. Something you did perfectly. I agree with you that the proper response is to document the situation and discuss it with your superior. Including them in what is going on not only gives you an outlet for advice, but also prevents your supervisor from finding out from someone else. There may be protocol you weren't aware of that they can tell you about to help with the situation.
ReplyDeleteFrankly I don't see anything legally or ethically wrong with this case study. Cara was never one of your students and is now no longer a student, but also 23. The only concern is that people may think a relationship was occurring while she was a student there, but I still don't think that could have been hidden for a five year period.
Xiao,
ReplyDeleteI thought this was an interesting case study and I think you responded to it very well, particularly considering the assumptions. I think your reaction to the situation is extremely professional which is important.
I agree that I don't think there is anything legally or ethically wrong, especially since Cara was never one of his students and is now a consenting adult. My only concern, however, is Cara's intensions. We live in a crazy world and sometimes you never know if someone as an ulterior motive. Although, we know the situation... what if Cara were to say that they did have a relationship when she was a student? Even if it were false, the response to that could be potentially be negative to this teachers career.